we are lost when we're together (but I'll follow you forever)
by because-fuckyou-thatswhy-54
Summary: One bad morning in the life of Leslie Shay begins a series of events that have the potential to change her life forever, for better or for worse. Shay/Rafferty Two-Shot.


**So, yeah. This fic is something I've been talking about on my tumblr for a while now, and technically it still isn't done. However! I hit page 10 in Microsoft Word and realized that I should probably split it. So here is the first of two parts of what started as Angry Shafferty and then evolved into a compilation of different prompts and discussions that have been floating around tumblr for a while. Enjoy!**

***So, bad news. A few days ago my laptop stopped working. Like, it won't turn on. Luckily I had already uploaded part one here, so I have it. However, what I have of part two is stuck on my laptop. I plan on finishing this fic, I'm just letting you know that I'm not sure when it will happen.**

* * *

Shay was having the absolute _worst _day, and that's saying something, because Shay knows what it feels like to get hit by a truck.

First, Severide and his current lady-friend used all the hot water in the morning – Shay hoped to God it was because they both took separate showers. Then, when she and Severide stopped for breakfast on the way to work, some jerk spilled his coffee all over her and had the nerve to accuse Shay of being at fault. If Severide hadn't stepped in, that guy would have needed a paramedic, and she certainly wasn't going to help him. Then, naturally, Severide's car broke down and they had to walk the rest of the way, which wouldn't have been all that bad if it hadn't been raining cats and dogs. (Absentmindedly, Shay thought about how strange that idiom is, and how terrifying the prospect of its literal meaning is.) Needless to say, Shay is _so _not in the mood.

"Good morning," Rafferty sang, wearing a smile that looked less and less like a smirk and more and more like a good natured grin every day. Shay was dripping wet, pissed off, and decided that she didn't feel like taking part in homophobic banter this morning, so she kept walking.

Rafferty wouldn't let her go, though, and Shay wasn't sure if it was because she could tell how upset Shay was, or because she couldn't. Either way, she caught up to her partner and said, "Woah, what's up with you this morning? Did you forget to tape yesterday's episode of Ellen?"

Finally, that was the last straw. That was the straw that breaks the camel's back. That was a whole bunch of other weird straw idioms that meant Shay was done.

"_Enough_!" She snapped, turning on Rafferty, whose eyes widened as she stopped suddenly. Rafferty raised her hands defensively and opened her mouth, probably to apologize, but Shay had no intention of waiting to find out. "No! I have had enough of your shit! In fact, I've had enough since long before you even got here! I got enough from the idiots in high school who talked to me like they were better than me, I got enough from the one idiot in high school who decided liking girls was enough of a reason to kick the shit out of me, I still get enough from my aunt and uncle who are convinced I'm going to find a guy and settle down! In fact, this fire house is probably the one place I don't get crap for just being who I am, and I will _not _let you take that away from me!"

By the time she was finished, Shay's face was red and her breathing was heavy. She didn't even give Rafferty time to respond before she had turned around and left, presumably to put her stuff in her locker. Rafferty remained where she was, completely unsure of what to do next.

* * *

Dawson looked over from her spot on Shay and Severide's couch, where the former was checking her phone for the umpteenth time that night.

"Dude, just call her," Dawson muttered tiredly, rolling her eyes.

Shay's head snapped up. "What?"

"Rafferty; just call her. She's obviously not going to call you. I probably wouldn't either. You were kind of a bitch."

"Just whose best friend are you, exactly?"

Dawson rolled her eyes again. "Yours, obviously. That's why I'm telling you to apologize to your girlfriend."

"Okay, first of all: ew. She's not my girlfriend. She doesn't even like girls! Which brings me to second of all: I don't see why _I _should apologize to her. I've told you about all the crap she says."

"Yeah, that's true," Dawson replied, nodding along. "But I've also seen the change in the _way_ she says it, and the way you react. She's not doing it to be mean anymore, and you're doing it right back. And if this had happened like, a month ago, I'd totally be on your side. But now? You had a bad day, and you went off on Rafferty for something that you would have been fine with any other time. Talk about mixed signals."

Shay sighed and looked down at her phone. Still nothing. Just as she was about to give up and call Rafferty though, her phone pinged with a new text.

It must have caught Dawson's attention too, because she muttered, "Well, speak of the Devil…"

"And the Devil will text you, apparently," Shay finished as she unlocked her phone.

_Hey. I need to talk to you. Molly's in half an hour?_

A moment later, another text came in;

_Please?_

Shay sent out a quick _sure_ and then rose off the couch, earning a question glance from Dawson.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Dawson asked. "It's girls' night!"

"You're the one who told me to make up with Rafferty!" Shay called from her bedroom, where she was changing out of the sweats she had donned for girls' night.

"Actually, I told you to apologize to your girlfriend," Dawson grumbled unhappily.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later and Shay was sitting alone, nursing a beer, and watching the door like Jesus himself was going to walk through it. Although, she considered, Jesus might be the better option depending on how this conversation went.

After what seemed like an eternity, Rafferty walked through the door. Shay waved, and Rafferty nodded and sent her a small, shy smile before heading to the bar to get her own drink.

When she came over to the table, both paramedics sat silently, neither knowing how exactly to start the conversation, but knowing it was necessary. Finally, Rafferty cleared her throat and fidgeted in her seat.

"I'm sorry," She muttered.

Shay's eyes widened, having assumed Rafferty was waiting for her to do that. "What?"

"I'm sorry for all the crap I've been giving you since I got assigned to 51. Obviously you know I was in a lot of pain when I first got here, but that still doesn't excuse it, especially because you were nothing but nice to me. And then, recently … I don't know, I guess I thought we were just having fun. I didn't know it was actually upsetting you or I would've stopped."

She finally looked up at the woman across from her, and Shay was just staring. Rafferty assumed that she was still upset, so she dropped her eyes back down and rubbed at the back of her neck. "So, yeah. I'm sorry, and I'll knock it off. Okay?"

Rafferty just sounded so shy, and she looked like she was trying to make herself as small as possible, and Shay realized that Dawson had been right after all (Not that she would ever tell Dawson that.).

"Dude, _no_!" It occurred to Shay that that came out louder than intended when Rafferty jumped and several other bar patrons turned around to look at them, so she leaned in and lowered her voice. "Look, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I was just having a really bad day, and I guess you struck a nerve or something. But I shouldn't have snapped at you, especially because you're _right_, okay? I know that you aren't doing it because you're a jerk, and I have no problem giving you a hard time right back. I actually kind of look forward to it.

"Really?" Rafferty asked incredulously.

"Really," Shay replied, giving Rafferty a sincere smile that was quickly returned.

* * *

After that night, everything at House 51 was pretty good for Leslie Shay. That is, until her partner got suspended for saving someone's life. Shay thought that it would be great to have Dawson back for a while, even under these circumstances, but every day she just found herself missing Rafferty. She made it almost a week before she just _had_ to text Rafferty and find out how she was doing.

_Shay  
so how is it lazing around your house while the rest of us work our asses off?_

_Rafferty  
wow, you made it almost four days without needing to talk to me_

_Shay  
uh, please. i don't need anything from you_

_Rafferty  
whatever. and it's been just great, thanks for asking_

_Shay  
i can almost hear your sarcasm_

_Rafferty  
that just means we've been spending too much time together_

_Shay  
idk, i honestly kind of wish you were here_

_Rafferty  
keep it in your pants, Shay_

_Shay  
you wish i was hitting on you_

_Rafferty  
yeah, okay, whatever you say_

Shay smiled down at her phone and decided that if she didn't get to see Rafferty at work every day, this would be just fine.

* * *

_Shay  
alright, it's been an entire month. What have you done with all your spare time?_

_Rafferty  
um, i cleaned my entire apartment…_

_Shay  
…_

_Shay  
god, you are the lamest person i've ever met_

_Rafferty  
what else was i gonna do? i'm completely caught up on every not awful show on tv_

_Shay  
am I really your only friend?_

_Rafferty  
are you really assuming we're friends?_

_Shay  
i know you can't hear it, but that was the sound of my heart breaking. you hurt me_

_Rafferty  
you'll survive. and if you don't, i'll just work with dawson_

_Shay  
it's like you're trying to hurt me_

_Rafferty  
never let anyone tell you you're slow on the uptake, leslie shay_

_Shay  
whatever, i think it's time to get you out of the house for a while. molly's tonight?_

_Shay  
rafferty?_

_Rafferty  
sure_

* * *

_Shay  
god, i hate when we have to help complete assholes_

_Rafferty  
what happened?_

_Shay  
so we walk into this guy's apartment, right? and he's got a frickin knife sticking out of his neck. apparently his girlfriend stabbed him. so halfway through helping this guy out the door opens and he says it's his girlfriend, and we're like shit she's back to finish the job and then he tells us no, it's his other girlfriend, and can we please tell this girlfriend that he got stabbed trying to stop a thief_

_Rafferty  
wow, what a douche_

_Shay  
right?_

_Rafferty  
so what did you tell the girlfriend?_

_Shay  
that he definitely got stabbed by a thief, if thief was now slang for angry second girlfriend_

_Rafferty  
nice!_

_Shay  
thank you, thank you_

_Shay  
only one month left, Rafferty_

_Rafferty  
i know_

* * *

_Rafferty  
hey_

_Rafferty  
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey_

_Rafferty  
shay_

_Rafferty  
im bored_

_Shay  
jesus rafferty, we were on a call_

_Rafferty  
i'd say sorry but_

_Shay  
i know. did you need something or was your life just unbearable without me in it?_

_Rafferty  
have you ever considered the irony of your name?_

_Shay  
what?_

_Rafferty  
your name is leslie_

_Shay  
no kidding! thanks for letting me know_

_Rafferty  
shut up and let me finish_

_Shay  
very well, go on_

_Rafferty  
so your name is leslie. And you're gay_

_Shay  
see, i knew that part already._

_Rafferty  
leslie. lesbian. you are a lesbian whose name is leslie. leslie the lesbian._

_Shay  
oh my god, you really are desperate to talk to me_

_Rafferty  
…_

_Rafferty  
shut up_

* * *

_Shay  
you know, i've been thinking_

_Rafferty  
don't work yourself too hard there_

_Shay  
i'm ignoring that_

_Shay  
so i've been thinking, and i've been pretty lucky in the partner department_

_Rafferty  
just because i don't cringe at the word gay anymore doesn't mean i want to know all about your personal life_

_Shay  
work partners, idiot_

_Rafferty  
it's hard to tell with you people_

_Shay  
anyway. i mean, before me, dawson had this batshit crazy dude who drove like he had a death wish, and obviously your last partner was no walk in the park either_

_Rafferty  
to be fair, that had more to do with the situation than her, but okay_

_Shay  
yeah, but me, i've been lucky. it's not every day you get to work with two supremely beautiful ladies who don't have awful personalities back to back _

_Shay  
rafferty?_

_Shay  
hey, where'd you go?_

_Shay  
was it something i said?_

_Shay  
look, i'm sorry if i overstepped a boundary or something, just come back_

_Shay  
alison please_

* * *

**Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuun. What a sticky situation! Why did Rafferty stop answering? Was it something Shay said? And more importantly, can she fix it? And even more importantly, will our hot heroines ever make out? For your sake and theirs, I sure hope so.**

**All your questions will be answered right here in the next installment of what is labelled in my documents as "Angry Shafferty"**

**I hope.**

**(on an unrelated note it took me forever to decide how I wanted to do the text message conversation, like, visually)**

**((on a related note to that unrelated note, I now realize this fic is more than half text message. Damn.)**


End file.
